The Customer Isn’t Always Right

There’s an old saying in retail and hospitality that “the customer is always right.” It’s become something of an expected golden rule in business but I don’t believe it’s always fair. Especially not for small businesses or frontline employees who are often left to deal with entitled or unreasonable demands.

As someone who runs a hands-on, customer-facing business, I’ve dealt with all kinds of people over the years. The vast majority of them are kind, reasonable, and a genuine pleasure to deal with. They ask questions, respect the time and effort that goes into the work, and treat me the way they’d like to be treated themselves. I value those people immensely — they’re the reason I keep doing what I do.

Before you read on: If you’re interested, I’ve written another post that goes deeper into what self-employment is really like — feel free to check it out after this.

A small business owner multitasking at his desk — taking a call, writing notes, and surrounded by craft supplies and packaging materials.

Some Background to this Post

I spent a few years working in an airport in Ireland, where I saw some incredibly irate customers firsthand — people behaving badly at the check-in counters, taking their frustration out on staff who had nothing to do with the actual problem. It was my first time ever seeing those kinds of situations in real time and I was quite frankly shocked. From that point on, I made a promise to myself: I would never allow anyone to speak to me like that, no matter the situation. Even if it costs me business.

These days, I’m reminded of those early experiences more often than I’d like — especially when I see similar behaviour online. Angry public posts, viral “Karen” videos, and a general wave of performative outrage all seem to reflect a growing sense of entitlement. It’s all fed by social media platform algorithms, because negativity is more attractive to human beings — car crash entertainment, if you will. Over time, that kind of content filters into everyday life, and entitlement only grows.

That kind of observed behaviour has shaped how I think about customer interactions today, and it’s one of the reasons I place such a high value on respectful communication in my own business.

Disclaimer

This isn’t meant to be a rant or bitter post — just an honest take based on experience, and maybe a bit of a nudge for fellow small business owners (and even customers) to consider the bigger picture.

What prompted me to write it was the steady stream of content online showing overly demanding customers — the ones who shout, threaten to "go to corporate," or complain about things that really don’t matter and who produce their phones to record at the drop of a hat. It has brought back memories of what I saw years ago working in that airport, and while my own experiences have been much, much milder, they’ve still left a lasting impression.

Every now and then, someone crosses the line.

If you have a small business like me, you probably have had a negative experience or two and have probably bit your lip just so you can keep those customers sweet. They might have demanded more than is fair, spoken rudely, or treated the interaction like a one-sided transaction where you are expected to bend over backwards, no matter how unreasonable the request.

Is any sale really worth dealing with someone’s ire — or worse, outright abuse?

Bad Examples from my Personal Experience

There are always messages that come in through social media or other platforms, even when I’ve clearly directed people to my Contact page. I’m happy for the first message to come in that way — that’s often how people find me — but after that, I usually ask customers to continue the conversation through my website’s Contact form. Sometimes that’s ignored, and occasionally, people take offence simply because I’ve asked them to use the method I’ve set up to manage things properly.

Would you book a doctor’s appointment by knocking on the surgery window, or by calling reception — as per their established process? I have my setup for a reason.

How about the customer who messages you on social media at or after 11pm at night, and you respond — just trying to be helpful — only to get a snotty reply because you asked them to get back in touch the next morning? Or maybe your answer wasn’t quite as sugar-coated as they expected at nearly midnight.

I’ve been there and have removed the social media contact option as a consequence. That probably costs me too but peace of mind is priceless.

And then there are the customers who ask a question, get a prompt and helpful detailed reply — and can’t be bothered to say thanks. It costs nothing to be polite. I always make a point of thanking other small businesses when I reach out to them. I even let them know if their package has arrived to me too.

These days, I just don’t have time for any of that stuff anymore. I’m getting a bit long in the tooth, and for the first time in my life, I have no problem saying “no” — or ''I don't care''.

No one should be expected to tolerate disrespect just because they run a business. I’d rather lose a sale than lose my dignity. Would you feel the same?

Lack of Business Understanding

It’s true — many customers don’t fully understand how small businesses actually operate. I didn’t either, not really. I spent years as an employee in different workplaces and, like a lot of people around me, I had a vague idea of how things worked. I think I believed that business owners were all millionaires with big houses, regular foreign holidays, and fancy cars.

The reality? It’s usually nothing like that. Self-employed people are often the hardest working folks you’ll meet — putting in the longest hours because they simply have no other choice.

When Messages Go Wrong

As a small business owner, when I’m replying to a message online, I might also be juggling three other jobs at the same time — packaging orders, managing stock, answering emails, creating new pieces or just trying to finish my lunch. Sometimes, that shows.

Have you ever responded quickly to a customer and later realised it might have come across as short or even rude, even though that wasn’t your intention? I know I have.

Text doesn’t carry tone, intent or context, and when you’re busy, it’s easy to miss how something sounds. If you’ve ever received one of those messages from me — mea culpa. It wasn’t meant that way. I was probably just overwhelmed and replying off the cuff. I hope that if it happens, a customer would feel comfortable calling me out — kindly, of course.

Respect Goes Both Ways

I believe customers deserve the same courtesy and respect you'd give to a friend, a colleague, or a stranger on the street — and I think it's fair to expect the same in return. That’s not about being difficult or defensive. It’s about recognising that small business owners are people too and most probably overwhelmed all the time without showing it. I’m sure many people can relate

We’re not call centres or faceless corporations with PR teams and scripted apologies. We’re humans, and most of us are doing our best with limited resources, high expectations, limited hours in the day, and yet still have a deep commitment to our craft and legitimately want to help you make your purchases a smooth and pleasant experience.

Just because you’re paying money for something doesn’t mean you’re saving our lives — so don’t treat the transaction like it does.

The Reality of Small Business

When you buy from a small business, you’re not just buying a product — you’re buying someone’s time, skill, knowledge, and attention. That comes with real value, and it deserves real respect. And part of that respect means recognising that there are boundaries and established protocols. There’s only so much I (or any other small business owner) can do before it stops being reasonable, or sustainable.

I’m in business because I enjoy what I do, even though it is incredibly hard — most people have no idea just how hard. I want to help people, solve small problems, and provide quality products and services but in a timeframe I can manage. I’ve learned over time that standing up for yourself and your staff isn’t bad business — it’s necessary if you want to stay in business.

My Own Shortcomings

This has to be said: I'm a bit of an introvert and I find it hard making small talk with people at times. This can come across during emails and text conversations and can be even more apparent when I'm tired, busy or distracted. Sometimes, in my rush, I miss things. I might think I’m being helpful in the moment, but when I re-read my own message, I realise it might have come across the wrong way — maybe even rude. What can I say, I'm a work in progress. If I’ve ever sent you a message like that, I’d genuinely prefer to be called out — kindly, of course. 'Sorry but what you said came across a little rude....'

The way I run my business is based on ten years of trial, error, and experience. It might seem rigid or inflexible at times, but I’ve figured out what works — and what doesn’t — for me. Most people don’t realise that when I aim to finish work by 6 or 7pm, I really do want to be finished. But more often than not, I find myself back at it later anyway. I’m not trying to be difficult — I’m just trying to protect my time and sanity like anyone else would.

Kindness Still Wins

Thankfully, the overwhelming majority of people I deal with are brilliant and I genuinely can't stress this enough. They ask thoughtful questions, say thank you, and support my small businesses because they genuinely care. Those are the interactions that keep me going and make the harder days worth it.

So no, the customer isn’t always right. But the right customers? The ones who treat small businesses with kindness, patience, and understanding? They’re absolutely worth holding onto.

Final Thoughts

Running a small business is a constant balancing act — between time, energy, and the hope that the people you serve understand the work behind the scenes. Most do, and I’m grateful for them. This post isn’t about venting — it’s about voicing something a lot of small business owners feel but don’t always say. If you’ve been in similar shoes — on either side of the counter — I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks for reading,

David

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